Finding the Positive in a Negative World: It's All Perspective

Gez this took me way too long, I'm sorry! No excuses just an apology (:

It can be really difficult to find the positive in situations (no matter how good you look as I said that's a small fraction). Sometimes there seems to be absolutely no up side. And sometimes there really isn't, that's when you have to simple move on and look for the good in other situations. It is really easy to feel lonely, forgotten, misunderstood, and down. Other people have the power to make us feel all these things but we can't control others, so how do we avoid getting too down? We try to take some of that power away. You have to realize people are people, they make snap judgements, they can be rude, and say things in the heat of the moment that really are reflecting them, not you. So you have to take all the negativity you hear around you with a grain of salt. Don't take it personally. I know that is super hard, I take way too much personally, but you have to understand, those people are living in the same negative world as you. Also you don't know how their day has gone, what their family life is like, what their struggles are so don't get too upset if someone does or says something that hurts your feelings. If its a friend of yours address it, tell them politely that what they did or said was hurtful. Chances are they will feel extremely bad because they did not even realize what they were doing or saying. If they don't feel bad maybe rethink your friendship.

That leads into the next idea, friends. Being surrounded by the right sort of people is vital to your emotional well being. If you are surrounded by negative, rude, caustic people chances are you will be pulled down with them. Granted a little banter and joking with your friends is never a bad thing. But if they are always complaining and never trying to fix what they are complaining about, maybe start looking around for some more positive people to be around. It took me my entire freshmen year to find the right group of friends. Finally I did and even though they give me a hard time and we joke around plenty, they are a great group of positive people. Sadly I had to move right before this year... Starting all over. Deep breaths.

Deep breaths. They really do help. If you are upset or feeling particularly down, just breathe. It's okay I promise.

Excuses... Okay so we all use them in excess and if you are denying this then go read the next paragraph and then come back and read this one. I think the most common excuse is "I've been so busy". We are all busy. Pretty much everyone is doing something, school, work, raising kids, something. It's all about budgeting your time. Don't over commit yourself so you have to apologize and make excuses for why you couldn't do what you said. If you do slip up don't sweat it. Everyone makes mistakes. Just do not let it be a habit. You want to be a reliable, trustworthy person and if you are constantly slipping up that will tarnish that persona. So when you do make a mistake just simply apologize and tell the person you will do your best not to make the same mistake. If someone asks for a reason then tell them the truth, don't make up some lie and never deny that you messed up unless you truly are being wrongly accused.

Denial. We all are in it a lot. We deny that we should probably do that paper due in two days rather than watch Bones and Grimm (Shhhh, I Never do this (; haha) for another two hours, we deny that we had no good reason not to do that assignment or to be late for that meeting. We deny that it was our fault when something goes amiss, we deny that we could have worked harder to make something happen, we deny that we were the reason to hurt another person. We are always denying things that we don't want to be true about our selves. And it'd time to stop, or make an effort to at least. Take a breather and think of all these things you are denying. Mull over them think how you can change them, make them right, make them something you don't want to deny. Accept your weaknesses and work to strengthen them. Just because you ignore them doesn't mean they aren't there. Face the beast and figure it out.

Be nice to yourself too. We all have faults, are in denial, mess up, have bad days, feel bad about ourselves, ect. Every single person no matter how much they seem to have it together has these moments. So, accept your flaws and work on them but focus on your strengths as well, you are a unique amazing individual. Make sure you remember that for at least little while everyday.

It's really easy to let your mental state be impacted by your relationship status. Whether you are in a relationship that makes you feel on top of the world or one that makes you feel horrible or if you aren't in one and you are relieved or if you feel lonely and like there is something wrong with you, its very influential. If you are in a relationship that makes you feel horrible, think about why you are in it. Talk to the other person explain what's going on. Give it a chance try to work things out never just give up. But sometimes two people just are not quite perfect for each other, when it comes to love anything less than extraordinary isn't worth it. If you are single and feel alone and sad because of it realize it's not just you. Finding another person who works with you well is like a lock and key. Some keys don't work at all, some fit but won't turn, and one works perfectly. Finding two people that compliment each other in such a way is extremely difficult and takes time. The longer it take the sweeter it will be. If you honestly feel like it's you , such as you feel like you are cold towards the person you like or are defensive or off putting or just not being yourself, work on that. I completely understand I used to be really guarded and defensive around anyone who was not an extremely close friend. Well then I realized it and worked on it. It is possible to change. But change for the right reasons. Do not change so you fit the person he or she is looking for. Change because you want to be a better version of you. It is hard to be around people in perfect happy relationships all the time, trust me my two best friends started dating this past summer after I've been friends with them for a few years. Talk about third wheeling it. I used to feel like Harry in the Deathly Hallows when Ron and Hermione get really close. So I know it can be hard to see them and be happy but know that they relationship has nothing to do with you. It doesn't reflect you at all. So be happy for them and hey maybe your friend's boyfriend/girlfriend has a single friend too haha!

So I know it's hard to stay positive, there's just SO much to be negative about but really it's all how you look at it. Find the good, move past the bad, and focus on what you can control: you. Above all never stop trying to be a better person, we all have room for improvement in out lives.

Like it says, be kind to yourself, stop chasing things you can't control, and know you will become stronger if you choose. 

Stay happy, stay beautiful, stay you. 

Love,

GITGB

Next up: Goals, oh we here so much about those (: